Do you wanta wanta-wtf? Someone at Orangina has got some serious issues.

I'm not sure which is creepier - the ripped bear with abs or the exploding bottles straddled by the zebras wearing Borat's swimsuit.

UPDATE: What a difference a few decades makes

Remeber that post about Phelps sporting his medals in a girly, halter top like fashion? My suspicions were confirmed when I dug up the original picture of Spitz (see left).

Spitz looks like a total porn star. Admittedly, the "what stretch marks" moustache adds to the illusion, but even sans moustache, this picture exudes nothing but manliness. Maybe the conservatives are right - has this generation of male gone soft? If I had a choice between which of these two to challenge to a knife fight, I'd pick Phelps any day. What's he going to do, choke me with red flare?

I hereby declare that all animals should have to wear wigs.

Why should animals have to wear wigs? Because it is ridiculously funny, that's why. Take for example the dog to the left. Before? Lame little mutt, probably answered to "Poopsie." Post wig action? This guy could pass for Topher Grace.

The key to making this work is that the wig must be believable. Too much and the animals will suffer from a form of the "uncanny valley" effect attributed to the creepy CGI of humans that Silicon Valley has been pumping out lately.

Don't believe me? Take a look at the one to the left. No effort was made to make the hair credible. A brunette bob would have been more appropriate and hilarious to boot. What we have instead is a creepy, aneroxic feline whore who clearly will do anything for a can of Sheeba.

Psst...Dude...Seriously, it looks like a halter top, not 8 gold medals

Isn't there a better way to display these medals? Congrats to Phelps, but this photo looks like the "moment we new Michael was different" photo in a scrapbook of the proud parents of a cross-dressing Olympian.

I kid, I kid. Congrats on the 8 medals- I hope you can find a more manly way to display them. Perhaps sling them across the corpse of a bear or something.

Remember that Cute Little Flash Elf Bowling Game?

Remember that fun piece of shit you would always get via e-mail around Christmas time in 1999 and 2000?

http://tinyurl.com/32g2rr

Yeah! Me too. You know what they really needed to do? They needed to make a movie out of it. Oh wait, they did:

http://tinyurl.com/5gy5ah

Yeah. They. Did. What in the fuck am I doing trying to earn an honest living? I need to get drunk, take some heroin, and come up with the shittiest idea I can think of and take it to a capital investment group. Oh, yeah - someone already did that: Elf Bowling - The Movie.

People Who Were Married to Tom Arnold Should Not Throw Rocks

Wow. If you haven't checked out Rosanne Barr's blog, what in the fuck are you waiting for? She manages to tear down all the candidates (okay, so all two (2) of them):



http://www.roseanneworld.com/blog/

Update:

Wonder how these T-Shirts are selling? I love that she trashes Edwards, tells his wife to drop some balls, and still peddles these:

http://www.roseanneworld.com/blog/products/